Why?

Have you ever thought, if God is who he says he is, then why is there poverty? Why is there war? Why is there sadness? Well, he could ask you the exact same thing. There's poverty because we're selfish. There's war because we thought that violence was the answer. There's sadness because we're all so wrapped up in our own feelings. God chose not to control us. He chose not to make us love him. We have a choice.
I'm actually very mad right now. I was at youth group tonight, and I saw and felt hypocrisy. It's like, no one cares. I care, but I have a hard time coming out of my shell if I'm not supported. I love just reading my bible and spending time with God. I never used to do that. I WAS A HYPOCRITE. I hate thinking about that, but I was. I was terrible. BUT, I'm not waiting anymore. It just makes me so mad to see people who don't believe in God. It makes me mad at myself because I don't know what to do about it. I can help. If only I knew how. I don't want to wait anymore! And it makes me so mad that I don't have anyone to guide me with this! I just wish that God spoke to us specifically. It would be so much easier. I find it hard to focus on and decode the stories in the bible that Jesus tells, so that's really no help to me. I need the real stuff. Wow, I'm rambling today. Oh well, I don't know if anyone actually reads this, but to those of you who do, please pray that I find peace. And that I can live how God wants me to. Because I'm tired of living this B.S. life. I'm done with it. I want to get onto the real stuff that God's planned.
Blessings,
Ariel