Here's what makes me angry more than anything: Christians often put so much effort into non-Christians that they often neglect their very own brothers and sisters in Christ. Now hear me out, it's so awesome to see people being the hands and feet of Jesus! That's exactly what we're called to do, and it encourages me SO much to see people accept Jesus into their lives!!! I love seeing God work! But here's the thing that we as Christians often do...we invite them into our family, they accept the invitation, and then that's it. Okay! Our job is done! Now go fend for yourselves! Umm...NO!!!!
I have been noticing this a lot in the Church. If a Christian asks a question, like, "How do you know God is real?" because they're beginning to have doubts, other Christians shake it off like it's nothing because this person has already accepted Jesus. Guys, if you do that, we're going to lose a lot of people. I've asked the question before, and I've gotten responses like "I've seen too many things to not believe" or "Jesus is proof"...those answers don't satisfy me. Sorry, but I want to hear the stories, hear the testimonies, hear the proof. Not just some one sentence answer because you don't feel like dealing with my crap. What if I went home and burned my bible, said, "Screw this" and killed myself? That opportunity would've been ruined. A lot of us ruin opportunities. I do too.
I am honestly so tired of feeling like my own family of believers doesn't care about me. And this isn't a me-me-me post, because if I'm feeling this way, then how many other people feel this way? I can deal with this, I'm used to being alone, but for the sake of the other believers that feel like this, we need to fix this huge problem. It is a huge problem when I feel like my work is more of a family than my church. It is a huge problem when I'm scared to ask questions with other Christians because I don't want them to think negative things about me. It's a huge problem when I cry because of the words of another believer. It's a huge problem when I doubt my faith because of another believer.
You know what guys? I'm tired of it. Your first priority is always God. God is our Father. We are his children. We are all brothers and sisters. We need to be there for eachother with love, support, trust, strength, encouragement, truth. We need to reach out for and be there for our brothers and sisters who are struggling. We need to take them seriously. If they say, "I don't know if God is real." We should in no way assume that they'll get over it. Never assume someone will "get over" anything. Soon, they will have a knife to their wrist. They will have a bottle of pills. They will have a gun. They will drink alcohol to drown the pain. They will. Why do you think God gave us eachother? So we could hold eachother up in times of weakness! So we could have little slivers of him here on this earth.
Don't ignore your family in Christ, guys. Don't take them for granted. They are a gift, and we should always treat them like that.
I love you, family.
Ariel
December 25, 2011
December 3, 2011
"Beautiful" Sin
I had a dream last night, and I woke up very confused as to what it meant. Obviously, I asked God. The dream was that I was marrying one of my friends, not anyone whom I'm close with or anything, just someone I talk to occasionally. But the twist was that it was a girl. I was marrying a girl, and I'm a girl. And so I was getting everything ready, we were so happy, and I was putting my dress on and veil and everything, and we were at the alter. There were just a bunch of faces I recognized from school but no one I really knew. I came in and stood in front of the pastor, but I stood too far away, so I had to go closer. I looked down and my beautiful white dress had turned into this grey, ugly dress that was coming apart. I realized while I was dreaming that I was marrying a girl, and that this completely went against everything I believed. I didn't know how I got to that point in my life, I felt like I had gotten in way too deep to get out now, and I felt like if I did not marry this person I would be letting everyone down and not be able to go on with my life, knowing what everyone thought of me.
Then I woke up, incredibly confused as to why I had just dreamt that, as it made no sense whatsoever. So I prayed, and everything kind of came together and made sense. A lot of sense. This is what I realized from this dream:
Me marrying one of my friends is like sin. It made me happy at first, and everything was so good with it in my life. I felt on top of the world, that it had made life better for me. A lot of the dream had to do with pressure. These people at my wedding were all staring at me as I came down the isle, and from that I got this: I care too much what people think. I feel like every one's watching my every move, and I feel like I have to be perfect. And so when I stood too far away from the preacher, I screwed up, while everyone was watching. Then when I saw my dress had changed, that part of the dream meant that I saw my life change. I saw this "beautiful" sin in my life start to show it's true colors. The dress tearing was like my life falling apart, and I kept having to try to pin it together so that no one would notice. Then this big realization at the end of the dream, the realization that I had gotten in so deep and felt like now I was in that "relationship" with sin for the rest of my life, that's exactly how I've been feeling lately. In the dream I started thinking about all of the stuff that would be better if I would just say "no" to marrying that person, but that little, weak voice inside of me kept saying "but I just can't do it". With all of those people there, watching me, I just couldn't bear to think about what they would think of me, even if I would be unhappy for the rest of my life, I couldn't just break out of it for fear of what would happen next.
I've been going through a lot of difficult stuff lately. I feel like this thing that I'm in is eating me alive. I want to say no, but there's that little voice telling me that I can't. This dream, in strange ways, is reflecting where I am in life right now.
This needs to end. I need God. I need him. I can't keep living like this, in this sin. Please pray for me, guys. I love you all.
God bless,
Ariel
Then I woke up, incredibly confused as to why I had just dreamt that, as it made no sense whatsoever. So I prayed, and everything kind of came together and made sense. A lot of sense. This is what I realized from this dream:
Me marrying one of my friends is like sin. It made me happy at first, and everything was so good with it in my life. I felt on top of the world, that it had made life better for me. A lot of the dream had to do with pressure. These people at my wedding were all staring at me as I came down the isle, and from that I got this: I care too much what people think. I feel like every one's watching my every move, and I feel like I have to be perfect. And so when I stood too far away from the preacher, I screwed up, while everyone was watching. Then when I saw my dress had changed, that part of the dream meant that I saw my life change. I saw this "beautiful" sin in my life start to show it's true colors. The dress tearing was like my life falling apart, and I kept having to try to pin it together so that no one would notice. Then this big realization at the end of the dream, the realization that I had gotten in so deep and felt like now I was in that "relationship" with sin for the rest of my life, that's exactly how I've been feeling lately. In the dream I started thinking about all of the stuff that would be better if I would just say "no" to marrying that person, but that little, weak voice inside of me kept saying "but I just can't do it". With all of those people there, watching me, I just couldn't bear to think about what they would think of me, even if I would be unhappy for the rest of my life, I couldn't just break out of it for fear of what would happen next.
I've been going through a lot of difficult stuff lately. I feel like this thing that I'm in is eating me alive. I want to say no, but there's that little voice telling me that I can't. This dream, in strange ways, is reflecting where I am in life right now.
This needs to end. I need God. I need him. I can't keep living like this, in this sin. Please pray for me, guys. I love you all.
God bless,
Ariel
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