Au Revoir, Mon Amis

Today was my last day with my kindergarten classes. When I first started this, it was just something that was mandatory. I thought that maybe I'd have a bit of fun, but I really didn't think it'd be for me. They have proved me wrong...and I'm glad. These kids are the most amazing kids, and I've been so blessed and privileged to work with them. (I'm tearing up as I write this, we'll see if I can get through...)
My morning class is so independent and creative. There's so many kids who are so very talented. Some have stories all the time, others always hug you, others have their nose in a book 24/7, others are great at reading/writing/counting. They're all so different, it so great to see them grow and get to know them. They were quite the dramatic group, but I love them to bits. On my first day, I still remember this little girl coming up to me, quite boldly, and saying, "What's your name!" I had so much fun teaching them how to play Ninja Tag. I love that almost all of them showed me so much love, with many hugs and "HI MADAME ARIEL!!!!" 's whenever they saw me outside of school. I love their drawings and presents they gave me. Je t'aime, classe du matin. Vous êtes un grand groupe d'enfants, vous ne jamais l'oublier. J'espère venir vous rendre visite dès que je peux! Beaucoup, beaucoup de câlins! L'amour, madame Ariel.
Oh, how I love my afternoon class. Both of the classes were so different. Afternoon was more challenging, but in a good way. They have a different energy about them. They showed so much love to me, gave me so many drawings and many many many hugs. I love how they were always positive, and how we got to comfort them when they were sad. They would always make my day better by a great big "Hi Madame Ariel!!!!" when they saw me walk up to the school. One of the girls hugged me today and said, "Madame Ariel, I don't want to leave." The first thing I wanted to do was hug her back, and whisper, "I don't want to leave either..." But I couldn't. I had to pick up my broken heart off the floor and tell her that she would love grade one, and that she would make so many new friends and do so many cool things. Classe après-midi, Je t'aime plus que tu sais. J'ai eu tellement de plaisir avec vous! Vous êtes tous tellement impressionnant, je ne peux pas attendre pour entendre le cri première personne, "Salut, Mme Ariel!" Tu vas me manquer! L'amour, madame Ariel.

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1. pronoun
   1. je
   2. moi

Je t'aime classe de maternelle!!!!!
(And no, I did not, by far, get through this without crying...I love you guys so much.)
God bless!!!
Madame Ariel

Merci beacoup, K! Ils sont si jolis.

J'ai eu une explosion durant la Semaine Spirit avec vous les gars. Vous étiez tous tellement mignons!

Merci beaucoup, S! J'aime, l'amour, l'amour les dons que tu m'as donné.

Merci beaucoup, F! Je vais faire des câlins à mon chiot à chaque fois que je pense à vous les gars.

Vous avez fait un bon travail à votre concert de printemps! Je suis donc très fier de vous. J'ai eu beaucoup de plaisir!

Joke's On You

I've been getting a little hit of reality the past couple of days. And quite honestly, it sucks. I'd really just like to ask for prayers...I'll explain.
I really did think that I was at peace with the concert that I was planning being canceled. Manafest is coming to Winkler 2 days before my concert was supposed to happen, and I think that's what got me through the first couple weeks. Now it's been quite a while, at least it feels like a while, since it's been canceled, and I realized that I've had this false idea of what was going on. I thought that I would be much more involved with the Manafest concert, and I'm not. I thought it would be cheaper, but it's not. I thought it would be in Morden, but it's not. It's not my dream. And don't get me wrong, these things are not bad things, but this is other people's dreams. I love them dearly, but it's become clear that it's not what I had expected. I guess I half expected them to let me take the reigns and carry out my dream...which is completely delusional! I know, I know. My dream was to have these freakin' awesome bands come to Morden, because Morden doesn't get stuff like this often, to have a cheap, affordable concert that everyone could enjoy and have fun at. It's hard for me to not be in charge...more than I realized. I love being in charge! It's fun to plan, to see everything coming together, to be under the stress of it all, to be busy, to see the finished product.
It really hurts me that the Fire With Fire tour isn't coming to Morden...more than I knew. I feel a pang of sadness everytime I even think about July 18. I often feel like I've had my baby taken away from me. That concert was my baby, in a sense. I cared so much for it, I wanted to see it come together, I put so much work into it, I loved everything about it. I feel like the doctors told me that I was going to have a baby, and then a couple months later, they tell me the baby died. Gone. No more. Joke's on you. It breaks my heart.
Please, keep me in your thoughts and prayers, especially on July 18. I can just see how hard that day is going to be for me. God is good though, all the time. I believe that with my whole heart.
I'm not mad at anyone. I'm just sad, and I guess maybe a little resentful, but I will get over it. I know that when God closes one door, he opens another. These bands (The Letter Black, Write This Down, Icon For Hire, I Am Empire, and Nine Lashes) are just fantastic, and I've been praying for them and I will keep praying for them. I've had the opportunity to talk to some of the people in the bands too, and they are just the most awesome people you'll ever meet. I just really want to stress that I'm not mad...I'm sad. I'm broken hearted, and it's going to take a while for my heart to heal, because I did put my whole heart into this. But God is good. He is good...
God bless,
Ariel

Get Messy

I hate labels. I hate labels with a passion. Especially "goody" labels. Like the "good little church girl" or "goody two shoes" or "nerd" or whatever else you wanna call me. Hey, guess what? I could easily turn into a "bully" and punch you the next time you call me one of those!!!! Gah!
Why do I hate these labels? Because if you do one good thing, or do the right thing, you're automatically labeled a goody-two-shoes. You can't do something good just for the sake of doing it. If you go to church and actually do what the bible says, you're automatically labeled a good little church girl. People tend to take advantage of you when you have this label because they think you're too naive and sweet and a push-over to actually do anything about it. This is why I've started to say no when I want to say no lately. Oh, and my favorite as of late, being called a nerd. I am being labeled as a nerd because I'm actually doing my school work to the best of my ability. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in school?! For crying out loud!
I hate being labeled as "good" things. I don't like it when people think I'm innocent, or naive, or anything else like that, because I'm not. I'm really not! I've experienced first hand so many things in my life that have left me incredibly scarred, but I love that about myself. I wouldn't want to have been that naive little 13 year old and I'm glad that I wasn't, because now I know what life is. I know that the way I was living then was not the right way. God brought me back to him, he was waiting while I ignored him, and now he has me back. I'm so happy to be back in my Daddy's arms.
I want to be known for being on fire, absolutely crazy, confident, God's warrior. That's the name I want to have for myself, that's what I truly desire. I believe that you can't be innocent to do God's work, because you need to go out into the world. You need to get in there and get messy. That's what I'm doing. I'm getting messy, and I love it. Thank you God!
Blessings,
Ariel

Door: Open

So, as many of you know, the concert that I was planning for this summer has been canceled. I was very sad when this first happened...and of course, I cried. A lot. I know this sounds dumb and waaay exaggerated, but I felt as if I had my baby taken away from me. This concert was my baby. (Keep in mind, I have never been pregnant or had a child, so this is the closest I can relate). The thing that I was most sad about was that Morden wouldn't get to experience this concert. I was so excited that I could finally bring these huge bands to Morden, just like I've dreamed about for almost 2 years now. But God gave me peace about it. I don't know how or why, but I knew that I had to trust in him. He comforted me and gave me this unexplainable peace. Man, I love him. At first, as expected, I was thinking, why would God open this amazing door just to slam it in my face? But then......He opened another door. Manafest is coming to Winkler!!!!!!! And I am privileged and blessed enough to be apart of this event. It's funny, because I found out once my concert had been canceled that some of my friends had been planning a concert for the day before mine, but they had canceled theirs because they didn't want to interfere with mine. God bless them. So, they picked up with their concert again and it is official!! http://www.facebook.com/media/albums/?id=100000903247456#!/event.php?eid=138382669571734 It's gonna be an awesome time. God is good, all the time. This is something that I constantly tell myself.
God bless, and hope to see you at the concert!
Ariel