Love.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. So we support it by wearing yellow, writing "love" on our wrists and maybe a name, a name of someone who has been effected by suicide. But is that all we do? Is that honestly all we're going to do? Wear a certain color, on a certain day? Tell me, what is this going to help? Yes, I am wearing a yellow hoodie as we speak, and I have "LOVE" written on my wrist. Why? It's a step. It's a movement. But that's just the beginning. If tomorrow we don't take another step, and another, and another, is anything going to change? It's not. That's just not the way life works.
I am so grateful for life. Yes, I am frustrated and angry at life, but it really is a beautiful thing. I'm frustrated and angry at the situations I've been put in in my life. But if I hadn't gone through that stuff, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. I hold tight to Romans 8:28, "All things work to the good of those who love the Lord." To be completely honest, this world sucks. A lot. And a lot of the time, I hate it. I hate living here and I just want to go home to be with my Daddy. There's sexual assaults, sex trafficking, murder, theft, abuse, wars, the list could go on and on. This world sucks. BUT, there is this thing called love, and from it branches so many other things. I truly believe that love is a verb, because you cannot love someone without acting towards them in love. When love is poured out, that's when things change.
I know for a fact that if I did not have the hope that I have, I would be long gone. See ya! Adios! Sayonara! Au revoir! Why would I want to live in such a disgusting world if all that happens when I die, is I get put in the ground, and that's it? What is the point?? There is no point to that, at all! Why would I want to deal with depression for any longer than I have to? That's been my reality for 4 years now. Praise God, it's not as severe anymore. Why would I want to work through the pain of my past and heal when I could just end it? But there is so much more at stake. We live for a reason. We have a purpose. What is that purpose? To love as Jesus loved. Let his love fill you, but not only that, let it spill, let it overflow onto those you come in contact with. I've had kids see me and yell, "Madame Ariel?!" with a huge gasp and a running hug. I've had people send me random messages on facebook. I've had people thank me with such sincerity and meaning for something that I've done for them. I've had people write me little notes. I've had people give me random gifts that seem little but mean the world. I've had people care enough to talk to me when I'm losing hope. Those moments of love impacted me so much. They kept me going. Never underestimate the power of your words, your actions, your love. It's needed!
So what do we do now? It's time to act. Take that next step. Be a part of the movement. What that looks like for you, I don't know. Maybe it's giving someone a hug. Maybe it's saying hi to someone in the hallway who you're not a fan of. Maybe it's sitting and listening to someone who's going through a hard time. Maybe it's holding your tongue when you feel a snarky comment on the tip of it. Maybe it's going and feeding the homeless. Maybe it's hanging out with a certain kid who just needs some extra attention. Whatever it is, go. Move. Be the change that you want to see in the world. Yeah, it starts with a bunch of little stuff. If you put $1 in a box, yeah it's small. It doesn't look like much. You can't really do anything with it. But if you put $1 in that box every single day for 30 years? That's $10,950. That's a lot bigger of a number than 1. That one dollar made a difference. It may take a while, but it will be so worth it.
And to those of you struggling with thoughts of suicide, I say this: you are SO worth it. You weren't a mistake, not even maybe. You were put on this earth for a reason. Yeah, things may suck right now, but please keep fighting. Down the road, there may be a person you meet who is struggling with the same things that you were, and you can help them. You can make a difference. Your story holds SO much power! You have the ability to change the world, so please, please don't give up. You're loved more than you know. Kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. Keep fighting. It'll be so worth it.
Love you guys,
Ariel