Plastic Makes Perfect?

So, I was playing barbies with this little girl that I was babysitting. I started thinking (way too much, as per usual), why do we live in a world where plastic makes perfect? Of course they can't make what we see as "ugly" barbies. They can't make plus sized barbies, they can make them with no makeup, they can't make ones with frizzy hair, they can't make short ones, they can't have even the littlest imperfection or we won't buy them. Because they're not pretty enough. A barbie always has long, blonde hair, a heart shaped face, skinny arms, a long neck, a thin, toned stomach, perfectly sized hips and boobs, thin-but-not-too-thin thighs, toned calves, perfectly sized feet, pink lips, white teeth, perfect smile, clear skin, long eyelashes, eye shadow, intense eyes and perfectly shaped eyebrows. Honestly?! Who looks like that?? We're taught from such a young age that Barbie looks perfect, and that's what every one's supposed to look like. I don't look anywhere close to that! My hair never behaves, my stomach isn't that toned, my curves aren't what we see as "average", my legs look funny, my feet are too big, my lips are chapped, my teeth aren't sparkling, my smile looks goofy, my eyelashes take work in the morning, as does my eye shadow, my eyebrows are just there. I'm nothing special. BUT, that's how God made me! I'm nothing special, but I AM beautiful. And if you want to tell me any different, then don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
I hate how fake this world is. I'm incredibly fake too. "How are you?" someone asks me, "Fine." is my reply. I'm always "fine" even when I'm not. That's fake. I've dyed my hair, that's fake. I wear makeup. That's fake too. I have my ears pierced in 2 different places. That's fake. I wear high heels. That's fake. I wear a smile when all I want to do is cry. That's fake too.
Now, some of these things I do to make myself feel good about me. If I didn't wear makeup I would feel SO ugly every day. I hate how I look without it. Even when people tell me that I don't look any different, I look in the mirror and start to cry because of how ugly I look. Getting my ears pierced the first time was because I loved earrings. The second time was because I liked the way it looked, everyone had their ears pierced, but not everyone had their cartilage done. I felt unique. Like a bit of a rebel I guess. I wore heels for fun. It's fun to feel dressed up and different once in a while. Oh, and tattoos are fake too. I'm gonna get all tattooed up!
I'm going to get one on my whole back, I'm so excited! It's going to represent God. How I know him. I get new ideas for it every day. It's going to be a beach scene, with sand and water and grass, half of the sky clear and half of it a storm. I love nature, it's so beautiful. God made it so perfect! The storm scene isn't all that you think, yes it represents the bad times, and the clear sky represents the good, but the storm also represents God listening and talking to me. When I was at Mission Point with WBC I was praying and every time I finished a thought, it thundered. So I said, OK God, if you're hearing me, if you're really listening, please make it thunder. And right then it thundered. I love sharing that moment with people. I want to have a butterfly flying up to the sky, because I was having a really bad day, I was at horses that week and I rode my horse and prayed and it was amazing. I saw a butterfly. Butterflies are signs of hope. I want to have a cross, because if I asked Jesus how much he loved me, he would stretch out his arms and say "this much" and die on the cross. He loved me enough to die for me. I also want to have 2 sets of footprints and the start of the beach, and then one set continuing. The reason for that is this poem:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed


he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene he noticed two sets of

footprints in the sand: one belonging

to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of

his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very

lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he

questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow

you, you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most

troublesome times in my life,

there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when

I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."


Guys, he loves us SO much! At the bottom of the scene, I want the words : "Jeremiah 29:11" (For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) written. This tattoo is going to be everything God has shown me. Everything he's given me. Every little piece of hope.
I've been kind of sad the past few days. More than anything in this world, I want a hug from the one man who can't give it to me right now. It breaks my heart. I just want him to come and be with me and hug me and love me. And I know he does, but I want to be able to see him, touch him. I can't wait for that day.